


Slapstick Adventures With The DRV3 Cast

by livingwithnoregrets



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Attempt at Humor, Chatting & Messaging, Crack Treated Seriously, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Funny, Gen, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, Iruma Miu's Dirty Mouth, Lesbian Chabashira Tenko, M/M, Nervous Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Saihara Shuichi Being Dumb, Slapstick, but we don't discuss that, everyone's trying their best tbh, himiko is done with everyone's antics, kiibo gets a little too excited at times but we all love him, little to no continuity except for building friendships, miu deserves the electric chair, oh yeah kaito is funny, rantaro likes avocados, ryoma acts more of a sidekick than kaito and kaede combined, ryoma has a genuine crush on shuichi, saihoshi is implimented because i love them, shuichi cares about everyone, slapstick misadventures mainly, there's a bit of gore added in because everyone dreams about their deaths
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:48:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livingwithnoregrets/pseuds/livingwithnoregrets
Summary: Exactly what the title suggests. Misadventures and slapstick comedy. Buckle up your seatbelts, because these fics will give you one hell of a ride.Mainly Shuichi centric, but other characters get their moments too.
Relationships: Everyone/Everyone, Saihara Shuichi/Everyone
Comments: 3
Kudos: 57





	1. So Robots Can't Play Tennis, Huh?

**Author's Note:**

> Kiibo challenges Ryoma to a game of tennis. Things get heated, man.

“Hmph. So you think you can beat me, huh? You think you can beat the  _ Ultimate Tennis Pro  _ at a game of tennis?”

A flash of his eye, Ryoma chuckled darkly. His opponent, K1-B0, otherwise known as Kiibo, nodded.

“Affirmative! I will beat you at a round of tennis, for my ultimate is the Ultimate Robot! Nothing is  _ impossible _ !” Kiibo says with early triumph.

Ryoma lowers his beanie with a game face, “heh, then let’s play.”

Shuichi couldn’t believe his eyes. He was watching two talented students go face to face in a match of tennis. Sure, it was a tad too extreme, but who was he to judge?

“Uh, am I interrupting something?”

Shuichi snaps out of his trance and sees Kaede behind him, watching Ryoma and Kiibo play an intense round of tennis. He lets out a breathy, nervous chuckle.

“Um... I wouldn’t exactly say that.” Shuichi sweats nervously.

Kaede sat down next to Shuichi, setting her backpack aside. “What’s going on? Seems like those two are playing like it’s the end of the world!”

Shuichi laughs at Kaede’s lighthearted joke, “they’re just having a friendly game is all-“

**_C R A C K._ **

Shuichi glances at a tennis ball, which happened to put a dent in the wall beside him.  _ Dear lord _ .

“Anyways… Kiibo got bored and decided to play a game of tennis with Ryoma. Ryoma thought Kiibo didn’t have the skills to play tennis, brushing him away. Well, Kiibo got a little offended and challenged him to an intense duel of tennis. So here we are now.”

White noise of Ryoma’s and Kiibo’s screams echoes in the gymnasium. Kaede mouthed a silent “oh”, continuing to watch the game.

“You still think you’re gonna win, Astroboy?!”

“Hey! That’s robophobic! And yes, that is correct! I’m one hundred percent sure, I  _ will _ beat you Ryoma Hoshi!”

Using his Shukuchi method, Ryoma kept hitting the tennis balls back at the Ultimate Robot. The game was intense, even for a tennis pro like himself. However, he knew Kiibo was a robot, capable of doing literally anything. He still had a ways to go though!

Several tennis balls flew everywhere in the gym, even a couple students had to duck and cover to avoid being hit. Kaede was rooting for Ryoma all the way and Shuichi saw that Miu was cheering in the background.

“Take him down, babe!”

“I’M NOT YOUR BABE!” Kiibo retorts, still focused on trying to beat Ryoma at his own game.

This game was getting nowhere and Kiibo was getting overheated. Fine, if Ryoma won’t forfeit, he’ll  _ make _ him forfeit. Kiibo pressed the second button on his chest plate. A bunch of tennis rackets popped out from his back, Kiibo watching Ryoma’s eyes widen.

Ryoma grumbled a small “good grief” and tightened his grip on the red tennis racket. He pulls out another tennis racket, wielding not one but  _ two _ . He was for sure he’d run out of steam soon, so he was going to give all he had.

Kiibo’s serve, he threw as many tennis balls as he could, aiming them for Ryoma. To nobody’s surprise, the Ultimate Tennis Pro deflected all Kiibo’s attacks, and vice versa. This was more intense than Ryoma’s and Angie’s last game!

"This intense game is orgasmic! _Pure ecstasy strikes once again_!" Miu moans loudly. Gross.

“Aha!” Kiibo’s eyes sparked.

He took a tennis ball and aimed it straight for Ryoma’s right foot. The ball hit Ryoma’s foot, making the smaller boy suddenly trip. A weak spot was exposed.  _ Perfect _ .

“You’re finished!” Kiibo declares.

What seemed to be a few dozen tennis balls, flew straight at Ryoma. The tennis pro looked up and the world moved in slow motion.

“Huh. I guess a robot really  _ can _ beat me at my own talent… Good game.”

Dust spread throughout the gymnasium as the balls made contact with Ryoma. Shuichi and Kaede held their breath with anticipation. Who won?

The dust cleared moments later, revealing Ryoma on the ground, knocked out from the relentless attack. Kiibo slumped down onto his knees, panting with exhaustion, yet he triumphed his victory.

“I was right! Robots  _ do _ have the skills to play tennis!”

No response.

“Ryoma?”

“Oh dear god, ya killed the poor sucker!” Miu shouts.

“Hoshi!” Kaede and Shuichi run over to check the knocked out classmate.

Ryoma was still lying on the floor. Seemingly dead. He had a bloody nose and a ton of bruises popped up on his exposed skin. Kiibo rushes over, the poor robot almost in tears.

“Is he… dead?” Shuichi’s breath was caught in his throat.

“I killed Ryoma! Oh no, I can’t be executed! I don’t want to be sent to the garbage disposal!”

“Hold up, jackholes! I happen to know mouth to mouth resuscitation, so clear the way!”

Pushing the others aside, Miu opens up her nasty mouth and leans over Ryoma. Before she could do anything, a fist came into contact with her jaw, Ryoma’s fist.

“He’s fine-” Miu falls onto the floor, knocked out instead.


	2. Stuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melon head Shuichi finds himself in an awkward predicament.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lesson of the day: Don't stick your head through iron bars.

It was official. Shuichi was stuck and he wasn’t budging.

It all began with the detective’s suspicions. He had heard a quiet conversation through the courtyard and decided to investigate. Sticking his head though some metal bars to listen, he ended up getting his shoe head stuck in the process.

So here he was, stuck and waiting for someone to come rescue him. Shuichi sighed.

“Ah! Shuichi, are you stuck?!”

Shuichi heard the voice of none other than Gonta. The gentle giant came over, worried about the detective.

“Gonta! I, uh, yeah I’m kinda stuck…” Shuichi mumbled out the last few words. God, this was embarrassing.

“Oh, Gonta will help! Gonta strong, Gonta pull you out!”   
  


Gonta gripped onto Shuichi’s waist and tugged as hard as he could. Bad idea! Shuichi cried out, flailing his arms around. His spine started to crack as it was stretched to it's limit.

“ _AH!_ Gonta, Gonta, Gonta! _ Stop, that hurts _ _!_ ”

Gonta was quick to realize and dropped Shuichi. “Oh! Gonta so sorry! Gonta be more gentle from now on-”   
  


Shuichi gasps, “No- Gonta, go get someone else, please.”

“Right… Gonta be right back!”

Gonta scampers away to find someone else. Shuichi’s back muscles felt like they were pulled and strained, because they literally  _ were  _ after being tormented by the entomologist. He suddenly hears two voices return, Gonta’s and Tenko’s.

Tenko walks up to Shuichi. “Shuichi! Got yourself stuck, huh?  _ Degenerate males… They’re all idiots. _ ”

“Gonta already try to pull Shuichi out, but he won’t move!” Gonta explains to Tenko.

“ **_Whaaat_ ** _**?!**_ You tried to  _ pull _ him out!? You’re lucky you didn’t kill him by breaking his back!”

“Gonta said he was sorry!” Gonta whimpered.

Shuichi clears his throat, “uh, are you two going to help me…? I don’t mean to interrupt, but I’m still stuck you know.”

“Oh, right.” Tenko apologises briefly.

She goes to the other side, where Shuichi’s head was. She places her hands on his head and pushes back, seeing if his head would slip through the iron bars.

“Ah!” Shuichi yelps as his jaw kept banging against the bars. Unfortunately, his head doesn’t budge in the slightest.

“Wow, your head’s bigger than I thought! I should call you Shoehead Saihara from now on.” Tenko jokes. Shuichi squints at her, offended at the nickname.

“Wh- Hey, my head’s not that big!” Shuichi huffs. “So mean…”

“Gonta thinks we need more help.” Gonta shyly comments.

“Ya think, green giant?” Tenko walks to Gonta. “We’ll look for some more help. Hang tight, Shoehead.”

Both left the scene. More waiting. All Shuichi wanted was to be free! Could things get any worse?   
  


“ _ Pooichi! _ ”

_ He spoke too soon _ . Miu comes waltzing in with an invention strapped on her back. “Looks like you’re pretty stuck! _Hahahaha!_ ” Miu cackles, spit flying everywhere.

She presses a button and several metal hands come out from her invention. “Masturbation isn’t the only thing these hands are good for. Let’s see if these babies can pull your sorry ass out!”

The robotic hands flew out and grabbed onto Shuichi. They began to carefully tug Shuichi out, but he was  _ still  _ at the mercy of the iron bars that caged his head. The Ultimate Detective sweated nervously.

“Uh, I don’t think this is working.” He said solemnly.

“Damn, Shoehead, you might be stuck here forever if this keeps up!” Tenko snorts.

Gonta cries out, “ _ forever _ ?! Gonta no want Shuichi to be stuck  _ forever _ ! Gonta go get more help! Gonta be right back!”

“Gonta no!” Shuichi pleads.

Gonta was already gone, so Shuichi’s efforts were fruitless. Dammit, this didn’t need to be a bigger scene than it already was! Miu and Tenko were the only ones left, trying to help him.

“Jesus Christ! Your fatass won’t fuckin’ budge! Even my inventions can’t help you!” Miu slaps Shuichi’s rear end, making the detective yelp in surprise.

“Ah! What was  _ that _ for?!”

“For being a dumbass!”

Shuichi sulks silently to himself. This day just keeps getting better and better. Why did Tenko grab Miu for assistance? Why oh why?

“May I be of some assistance?”

Shuichi looks up. It was the Ultimate Maid, Kirumi. “Oh, hello Kirumi. Uh, yeah, I’m a little stuck.”

“How on earth did you manage this, Saihara?” Kirumi kneels down and examines the iron bars.

“It’s a long story… Gonta, Miu, and Tenko tried to pull me out, so I dunno if there'll be much luck for you either.”

"Geez, there's no need for that."

Both were interrupted by Ryoma waddling in, holding a bucket.

“Did you need this, Tojo?” Ryoa asked.

“Ah, yes, thank you Hoshi.” Tojo takes the bucket from Ryoma. She holds it over Shuichi's head. “You might want to take a shower right after this.”

“Pardon?”

A bunch of slippery liquid poured all over Shuichi’s neck and back, making the detective squeal. It smelled like butter, probably because it was indeed butter. He shivered as he felt the butter ooze down his neck and clothes. Ryoma placed his hands firmly on Shuichi’s head, gently nudging him out of the iron bars.

_ Pop! _

With a slippery pop, Shuichi’s melon was finally free. Albeit, he was a little greasy from the butter that soaked his neck and clothes. Everyone around rejoiced, thankful their friend made it out safely.

“Ah… What a relief.” Shuichi sighs, but gets scooped up into Gonta’s big arms, a vice grip of a hug.

“Gonta so relieved! Gonta glad you’re okay!”

“Maybe next time don’t go snooping around with that melon head of yours!” Tenko grunts.

And so the group of friends went their separate ways. Shuichi, all slippery and buttery, decided to take a nice shower.


	3. Cupcake Cats

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryoma and Shuichi decide to bake together. What’s better than making cat themed sweets?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something sweet and fluffy. Based off the Salmon Team date event with Shuichi and Ryoma baking together. Sorry if this is a little too sappy, but I like nice moments with extra chedder.

Looking for something simple and fun to do, Shuichi decided to reach out to Ryoma for the day. He found him wandering the hallways, running up to him.

  
  
“Hey, Ryoma! We should bake something.” Shuichi says with a warm undertone.

_Say what?_

Ryoma blinks. “Hm? You wanna bake something? With someone like _me?_ ”

Stuttering, Shuichi continues, “I mean, I wanna spend time with you! I thought we could, you know, bake something as friends.”

Since it was a weekend, Shuichi had nothing better to do. He didn’t feel like doing anything too strenuous, and Ryoma was the only person Shuichi felt was the most laid back in terms of doing fun stuff. He never made Shuichi do anything out of his comfort zone, and Shuichi appreciated that.

“Well, I didn’t have anything planned for today. Although, I don’t see why you would hang with someone uncool like me, I don’t see why not.” Ryoma pulls out another candy cigarette.

“Ah! Thank you Ryoma!”

Both headed to the cafeteria to prepare. Ryoma took out a small apron, which had a cute cat symbol on it. Shuichi couldn’t help but grin at his friend, but was quick to look away when Ryoma sent a death glare at him. Clearly Ryoma was ashamed of his kitty apron, it was embarrassing to say the least.

“Tell anyone about this and it’s your life, Saihara.” Ryoma says darkly.

“I swear I won’t tell anyone!”

Ryoma flips Shuichi off, making the other laugh nervously. Shuichi grabs measuring cups and a few bags of flour. If he was planning on making cupcakes for everyone in the school he needed plenty of materials and ingredients.

Suddenly, Ryoma returns to the kitchen with a tennis racket. He starts beating the cupcake mix in a bowl, splashes on batter hitting the cold surface of the countertop.

“Wh- Ryoma that’s not a whisk.” Shuichi mumbled as he watched the tennis player use the odd utensil.

Ryoma leers at Shuichias if he were boring a hole in the detective's head. “ _Are you judging my methods, Saihara?_ ”

“ _No-_ I mean… Never mind.” Shuichi says defeatedly. “We need sixteen cupcakes total. You think you could pour the mix in the tray?”

“Okay.” Ryoma starts pouring in the batter in a cupcake tray. “What’s the special occasion for?”

“Well, I thought I’d make our class something nice.” Shuichi rubs the back of his neck. “My uncle taught me how to bake a lot of sweets when I was younger, and this gives me an opportunity.”  
  


Shuichi grabs an icing piper, testing it to make sure it worked. Unfortunately he squeezed it a bit too hard, sending icing on the ceiling, on himself, and on poor Ryoma.

“Oops… Sorry about that.”

Ryoma wipes some frosting off his nose and forehead, “it’s fine.”

In a matter of minutes, the oven signaled the cupcakes were ready to be pulled out. Ryoma carefully pulled out the tray, grabbing more pastry piping tubes filled with his choice of color. Specially prepared by Shuichi. Today’s decoration would be Pusheen cat, one of Ryoma’s favorite cartoon cat characters. And just because he loves cats in general. It reminded him of his cat he owned so many years ago, a nostalgic feeling really.

He decorated each cupcake, making sure they were almost identical. It was like the cupcakes were smiling with joy. Ryoma gives a small smile, proud of his work. Sixteen Pusheen cat cupcakes ready to be eaten. Unfortunately, Shuichi couldn’t say the same for his own cupcakes. _They looked kind of sloppy…_ Ryoma's work definitely topped his.

All that hard work and Shuichi slumps onto the grassy floor, completely exhausted and covered in frosting and flour. Ryoma joins him on the floor, taking off his apron and setting it aside for now.

“Now that the cupcakes are done, I think I need a vacation after this.” Shuichi laughs. “Although, I don’t think I’ll be getting one anytime soon.”

“Already exhausted? Sheesh, and here I thought you weren’t a _quitter_.” Ryoma jokes. "You wouldn't survive in a tennis match, that's for sure."

“I wouldn’t say that, exactly.”

Ryoma snorted and began folding his apron away. The cafeteria’s kitchen was a total mess and he’d have to clean it up soon, but first he’d rest for the moment. He glides his small hand along the patches of soft grass. The academy had been abandoned and was a hot mess, but something about the overgrowth made it serene and warming. It wasn’t long before Ryoma’s stomach made its presence known, loudly stating it’s void of nutrients. It was loud enough to break the peace and startle the detective next to him.

“Was that you Ryoma?” Shuichi asked.

“That obvious, huh?” Ryoma looks over at Shuichi. "I am getting hungry, but I'll just go back to my room and-"

Shuichi held out a black and blue cat cupcake in front of him. “Here. I thought you might like one yourself, so I made a few extras." 

Ryoma stares at the cupcake Shuichi made for him with wide eyes. “This is for me?”

Shuichi smiles, “I made myself one as well. They’re, uh, a bit messy… Not as good as yours, I’m afraid. Come on, stay for a bit. We have all the time in the world.”

Shuichi’s cupcake had a messy magnifying glass on it, representing his Ultimate. Albeit messy, Shuichi did his best at cupcake art. It made Ryoma's cold heart turn into oatmeal mush, a feeling he couldn't exactly explain but absorbed it all in. The Ultimate Tennis Pro chuckled, taking his respected cupcake.

A simple smile. “No, _it’s perfect._ ”

Shuichi bites into his cupcake, savoring the sweet frosting. It wasn’t long before Ryoma bit into his own. The tennis pro closed his eyes in deep thought, as if he were thinking of something to say. He broke the silence, making a small _hmph_. Shuichi glances at Ryoma worryingly. Did he do something wrong?

“What’s wrong? Did I-”

Ryoma cuts off Shuichi, “it’s nothing. This just... Reminded me the last time I baked with my girlfriend. She would always bake sweets for me whenever she could. It was nice to say the least.”

Shuichi took another bite. “Ah, I see.”

“It’s a damn sob story anyways, so don’t mind what I say. It’s useless bullshit.” Ryoma throws away his cupcake wrapper.

“No,” Shuichi looks at the shorter boy, “Ryoma, it’s not ‘useless bullshit”. I’m actually flattered you told me this. What we did today was fun, and if it reminded you of something good, then we should do this again someday.”

Shuichi took Ryoma’s hand into his. “I want you to be happy for once. You’re pushing me away, but I won’t leave your side. Isn’t that what friends do?”

Ryoma, on reflex, squeezes Shuichi’s hand with his. “Hmph, you’re stubborn as a mule… But I suppose I could return the favor, seeing you’ve got a good heart. I wouldn’t do something uncool now, especially after that cupcake.”

Shuichi giggles, “was my cupcake really _that_ convincing?”

“To be fair, who could really resist cat themed cupcakes?” Ryoma returns a laugh. “Perhaps we could do this again, someday? It’s worth bearing these food dye stains.”

Shuichi gave a lighthearted laugh. “Yeah, we could! For now, let’s deliver these cupcakes. I’m sure everyone will love them.”

  
And everyone _loved_ the Pusheen cat cupcakes.


	4. Group Chat 1: The Missing Turtle Case!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A turtle is loose in the halls, but who's is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name Key:
> 
> Buzzlightyear- Kaito
> 
> Nyehhh- Himiko
> 
> Auta’s #1 Witness- Angie
> 
> PianoSlayer <3- Kaede
> 
> Big Boobs?- Miu
> 
> No SHIT Sherlock- Shuichi
> 
> Pantalord69- Kokichi
> 
> KayOneBeeOh- Kiibo
> 
> Ryoma- Ryoma
> 
> HtsneMku- Tsumugi
> 
> Makiroll- Maki
> 
> Gonta- Gonta
> 
> Kork- Korekiyo
> 
> Mom- Kirumi
> 
> Lessbean- Tenko
> 
> RantAvacado- Rantaro

**_Kaito Momota_ ** **added** **_Shuichi Saihara_ ** **and 14 others to the chat.**

**_Kaito Momota_ ** **named the chat** **_To Infinity And Beyond!_ **

Kaito Momota: ok how do you do monocord gcs again?

******Kaito Momota changed 16 usernames.**

Buzzlightyear: oh sweet!

Nyehhh: what’s going on? why was i added? O_o’

No SHIT Sherlock: Oh hey Kaito

HtsneMku: A group chat? How fun!

Makiroll: I never consented to this.

Buzzlightyear: makiroll!

Makiroll: Don’t fucking call me that.

Buzzlightyear: :''''(

Pantalord69: Nehehehe~! A monocord groupchat huh?

PianoSlayer <3: hi guys! :0

No SHITSherlock: Hey Kaede! :)

PianoSlayer <3: Shuichi!

Auta’s #1 Witness: :3c

Nyehhh: :3c

RantAvocado: Are we making cat faces? Can I join in?

HtsneMku: May I join in, too?

Nyehhh: :3 sure

HtsneMku: :33

RantAvocado: :333

Auta’s #1 Witness: :3333

Gonta: oh gonta join in too! :3

Auta’s #1 Witness: Gonta’s now part of our :3 cult.

Nyehhh: o_o’ what

Ryoma: Hm. What is this chat for? I want no part of it.

Buzzlightyear: aw come on bro stay

PianoSlayer <3: yeah ryoma! It’ll be fun!

Ryoma: .

Ryoma: Good grief.

No SHIT Sherlock: Good morning Ryoma :)

Ryoma: Morning.

Buzzlightyear: ryoma: i wanna leave

Buzzlightyear: also ryoma: shuichi’s here so i’ll stay

**Buzzlightyear changed 2 nicknames.**

Ryomeo: Do you want to die?

Buzzlightyear: i’m just stating the facts dude

PianoSlayer <3: awww ryoma likes shuichi! ^w^

Ryomeo: I'll fucking kill you two.

Shuliet: Does he really?

Ryomeo: As friends, yes.

Shuliet: :)

Pantalord69: nehehehe! how queer! ryoma and shuichi are totally in lovey dovey mode!

Shuliet: Huh????

Ryomeo: Screw off, grape gerbil.

KayOneBeeOh: Greetings everyone!

PianoSlayer <3: kiibo :DDD

KayOneBeeOh: Kaede! Good morning!

Shuliet: Good morning Kiibo

Pantalord69: oh keeboyyyyy!!!!

Pantalord69: Come here pretty boy!

KayOneBeeOh: Ah! I don’t wanna! Dx>

KayOneBeeOh: Leave me be, Kokichi!

Buzzlightyear: hey where’s everyone else?

Gonta: gonta here!

Gonta: gonta just got on!

Kork: How intriguing. It appears I am in a group chat.

Nyehhh: creep

Mom: I am here, Kaito.

Pantalord68: mom!

Mom: Good evening, Kokichi.

Lessbean: I _was_ practicing my Aikido lessons, but a certain degenerate male invited me to a group chat and made my monopad go off! Not cool!

Buzzlightyear: :(

Buzzlightyear: be nice tenko

Nyehhh: nyeh hey tenko

Lessbean: Himiko! Hey cutie!

Pantalord69: get a room you two

Lessbean: Shut up male!

Nyehhh: quiet pea brain >:7

Big Boobs?: Pea brain? More like

Big Boobs?: Penis brain.

Pantalord69: yeah okay cum dumpster

Big Boobs?: Guuuh! What did I do to you?!

Kork: You really must learn how to control what you say, Iruma.

Big Boobs?: Stop ganging up on me!!! I didn’t do shit!!

Ryomeo: Sure you haven't.

Buzzlightyear: okay so i made this group chat to ask you guys an important question so uhhhhhh

Shuliet: ?

Nyehhh: what

Makiroll: Yes, Kaito?

Auta’s #1 Witness: I am listening!

PianoSlayer <3: is something wrong kaito? D:

Buzzlightyear: well there’s a turtle in the hallway rn 

Buzzlightyear: and idk who’s it is

Pantalord69: oh i know who it belongs to! Pick me kaito!

Lessbean: All he ever does is lie so don’t pick Kokichi, Kaito.

Pantalord69: hey! I have _NEVER_ lied in my life!

Lessbean: Okay boomer.

Big Boobs?: ok boomer

Shuliet: Okay boomer

PianoSlayer <3: okay boomer

Nyehhh: okay boomer

Auta’s #1 Witness: Okay boomer.

Makiroll: Okay boomer.

HtsneMku: Okay boomer.

RantAvocado: Okay boomer.

Pantalord68: **SKSJHSHCSUC Y’ALL ARE SO MEAAAAAAANNNNN**

KayOneBeeOh: Excuse me but…

KayOneBeeOh: What is the meaning of this... “Okay boomer”?

Auta’s #1 Witness: It’s a meme! And Auta approves of the meme!

KayOneBeeOh: Then I shall indulge in this "Okay boomer" meme then! >:D

Buzzlightyear: guys i’m serious! Someone’s pet turtle is in the hallways and i don’t fucking know who’s it is!

Nyehhh: did you ask anyone in the building?

Buzzlightyear: i asked gundham but he said it wasn’t his :/

Shuliet: Um does it have anything on it that could indicate its owner?

Buzzlightyear: lemme check rq

Ryomeo: The Monobears don't allow animals on the campus. It must be someone who’s very fortunate enough to sneak one in. Perhaps one of the Ultimate Luck students.

Shuliet: Brilliant deduction Ryoma!

Ryomeo: I try.

Buzzlightyear: damn okay so

Buzzlightyear: it doesnt have anything that says it belongs to someone

Shuliet: Hold that thought, I’m getting a dm

No SHIT Sherlock: Brb

* * *

**Private Chat - Shuichi Saihara and Makoto Naegi**

Makoto: Hey Shuichi? Have you seen Shelly? D:>

Shuichi: I’m sorry

Shuichi: _Who?_

Makoto: Shelly! She’s my pet turtle, and she escaped from her box a few hours ago! I can’t find her, and I dunno if Monokuma killed her or something aaaAAAsbbdsbc

Makoto: I’ve tried messaging everyone I have in my monocord friends list, but nobody’s seen her.

Shuichi: Wait what???

Shuichi: So you’re telling me that turtle in the hallway

Shuichi: Is yours?

Makoto: **_YOU FOUND HER??????_ **

Shuichi: Well Kaito found her actually, but she’s safe with him atm

Makoto: Oh thank you for finding her! I’ll come get her right now, if that’s okay? :0

Shuichi: Yeah, sure!

Makoto: On my way!

* * *

**To Infinity And Beyond!**

Shuliet: Okay i’m back

Buzzlightyear: well?

PianoSlayer <3: who messaged ya shuichi?

Buzzlightyear: do i need to beat someone up???

Shuliet: Well uh

Shuliet: Wait _what???_ No, there’s no need for that!

Shuliet: Anyways, Makoto did. He said the turtle was his

Buzzlightyear: say what?

HtsneMku: Oh! Naegi!

Nyehhh: i thought i remembered makoto carrying around salad before

Nyehhh: it was probably for his turtle :7

Shuliet: Yeah, so I think we should return Shelly

HtsneMku: Shelly is a nice name for a turtle!

Mom: Indeed.

Pantalord69: nah that's a terrible name

Pantalord69: how bout turdle?

Lessbean: No <3

Ryomeo: I'm stuck with a bunch of idiots.

Buzzlightyear: we're cool idiots though!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed Names:
> 
> No SHIT Sherlock > Shuliet
> 
> Ryoma > Ryomeo


	5. UPDATE NOTICE!

Since school has started, I won't be posting as often! I am working on the next chapter though, so look forward to that. Have a good day guys. :)


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